The Day I Set Myself Free

By the time I saw my life for what it had really become, I had spent thirteen years in the tight and unforgiving clutches of alcohol addiction. I had torn through two marriages, countless romantic relationship, some of which overlapped, and was grateful only for the fact that I never had children any to screw up. The morning I made the decision to get help for my drinking, I had a clearer sense of what I needed than I ever had before. I sat at my dining room table for what seemed like the whole day in my bathrobe, realizing that if I didn't do something quick, shame, embarrassment and destroyed marriages would be the least of my problems.

It was raining cats and dogs outside, and all I could hear over the fat thud of the rain drops against the window were my own thoughts of regret and loss. I thought about what I had and let slip away; what I never had, but always wanted; and most importantly what I had, but didn't want. I was 43 years old, alone, on the verge of complete professional ruination and feeling sorry for myself every minute of the long, long day. This day was only unique in the respect that I woke up with a little something extra; a little spark that gave me the impetus to at least try and change my life. 
 
I thought about what sobriety would mean for my future, and frankly, it scared me a little bit; the life that I had made for myself wasn't so great, but at least it was familiar. Then I thought about everything I had lost, and how if I could get at least some of it back, I could declare my life a success and live with dignity. I wasn't getting any younger, but my life was by no means over. All I knew was that I hurt physically and emotionally to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. With a head full of bad memories, I made the move from the dining room table to the computer to research alcohol treatment centers. Putting my health in someone else's hands was terrifying, but I knew they'd do a better job than I had. 
 
When I entered treatment, I just gave myself completely to the process. I knew that I couldn't have one foot in recovery and one elsewhere if I wanted to be successful, so I trusted my doctors and listened to the advice of my therapists and everything fell into place—or rather, was pushed into place. Detox nearly broke me, and I'm convinced it would have if I was going through it on my own, but once I was clean, I held on to my recovery for dear life. When I left treatment, I tried hard to make amends to the people I hurt, and was partially successful.  I have that one single day to thank for getting my life back together, and never want to experience another day like the ones that led up to it again.

Contact the National Alcoholism Center anytime toll-free at (888) 515-7704 or through our online form for our recommendations of the best alcohol treatment centers for you or your loved one!

Alcoholism treatment should never be attempted in your home or without medical supervision at a professional licensed treatment facility.